I did much better at weigh in tonight! I lost 4.8 lbs in the last week, bringing me to 262. The whole number that I have to lose is almost overwhelming, so I am just going to concentrate on 5 lbs at a time. That is so much easier to face.

Well, Halloween was tonight. I knew that all that chocolate was going to be a huge temptation, so I bought a box of CocoaVia bars. I had a two dollar off coupon, so it was a little more reasonable. One bar is only 2 pts. I had half the bar with lunch, and then put it up and had the other half while the kids were sorting through all their candy at the table. The desire for an Almond Joy or something peanut buttery was strong, but I didn't eat it. I didn't really want it, it was just such a habit to have some of the kids candy.

Anyway. I feel much better than I did last week after weigh in. I know that a huge loss like that isn't going to be typical. Shouldn't be typical, if you want to lose weight and take it off. But it sure felt good!

Firm Intentions

I ordered an exercise system today. I waffled on it for quite a while. Part of me kept saying, You really need to be serious about this. The other part, sadly enough, kept saying..You know you aren't going to stick with an exercise program. This is a waste of money.

Now, I have been exercising everyday except Sunday since I started Weight Watchers. I get up, I go to the bathroom, brush my teeth, take my vitamin and blood pressure medicine, and then exercise before I ever leave my room. So why would I think, as committed as I have been to this, that I wasn't going to stick with an exercise program. As soon as I became aware of what I was thinking, I ordered the program. I am determined not to fail this time, I just am. I am not letting a thought like that persist.

I did really well on the program this weekend. I made sure I ate "real" food, nothing processed or salty. The scale has been dropping dramatically this week, so I am really looking forward to weigh in tommorrow. More then.

Weigh In was tonight, and I only lost .2 lbs. Other than Sunday, I had done really well, so it was a little dissapointing, but at least it was a loss. I know this program works, and I have to do something. Even a .2 lb loss every week is better than staying here where I am.

I am looking into exercise programs and trying to figure that mess out. There are a lot of options out there, and it all sounds like Greek to me, LOL. I'm sure it is just going to take a little research.

Well, I felt wildly out of control with my eating yesterday. I didn't technically go off the weight watchers program, but I used most of my flex points yesterday. I think I got off track right from the beginning. I wanted something different for breakfast, so instead of having cereal with yogurt or oatmeal, I had some toast, two baked hash brown patties and some wonderful hot chocolate, which was only 3 points. It was a low points breakfast, but it didn't really stick with me through lunch. I had a salad for lunch, but by then, I was in a munchie kind of mood. My MIL had brought over some WW snacks for me to try, and I ate most of them yesterday. All within my points range, but then I didn't have any points left for dinner, and used some of my flex points. That is something I try not to do, I know it is on program, but it feels like cheating. Also, the snacking did not fill me up like a salad or vegetables or something substantial would have.

In the end, I ate a lot, and none of it left me feeling satisfied. So I planned last night to be much more moderate today. I had oatmeal, with dried fruit and sunflower seeds for breakfast (4 pts), 2 cups of stirfried vegetables and cabbage with garlic, ginger and soy sauce for lunch (1 pt for the tsp. of olive oil I stirfried it in) and I have had a snack of a mini flatout, 7 slices of turkey pepperoni, and 1/2 oz. of part skim mozzerella (3 points, and much better than any of the two point WW "snacks" I had yesterday).

I know I wasn't technically off the program yesterday, but I feel much more satisfied and in control today. I have to remember that I don't want to have to loose this weight twice. Anytime I lose control and just eat anything available, I risk that possibility. I have to be in control, not let the food control me.

My weigh in at Weight Watchers tonight was great! In the week that I have offically been on the program, I have lost 2.6 pounds. I have heard a lot of specatular stories about people losing 6 lbs. or more their first week on the program, and secretly, if that had happened to me I would have been very happy, but I was just glad to see the numbers going down. I just have to keep working on losing the next pound, and this will happen.

I have been exercising every day since last Tuesday, except Sunday. It has been hard to find programs with exercises that I can actually do, but I have found two good ones on Fit.tv. Both are led by a lady named Ellen Bartlett, and the moves are challenging, but at a slow enough pace that I don't feel like my head is going to explode. I have got a lot of programs set to tape, but it's like finding a needle in a haystack. Hopefully, as time progress and I get healthier, I will be able to do more of the programs.

Well, that's all for now.

Onward and downward

At least I hope downward. Certainly not upward!

Well, it is Friday night and that means the weekend. I have done really well through the week keeping OP (on program), getting in all my servings of vegetables and oils, a multivitamin everyday, and lots and lots of water. I have even excercised everyday...

The weekend is a problem though. DH isn't here, he's at work, and I tend to eat from sheer boredom. I usually run to the church to clean and run off the bulletin. After that, I knit or spin, all day. It is the "me" day. The recharge my batteries day.

Obviously I need a plan. What am I going to do if I am tempted to eat mindless snacks when I take a break from the knitting? Hopefully, since everything I eat has to be logged, that will stop any mindles snacking. I also have a a sack of baby carrots, Light Done Right dressing and salad fixins. I am going to make a batch of buffalo chicken bites (chunks of boneless skinless chicken breast done up in buffalo chicken sauce). If all else fails, I will be exercising for breaks instead of eating.

I had a good sign that I am losing weight today. I was able to get my 10th anniversary wedding band on. I have only worn it once or twice in the five years I have had it because it was just too tight. Today, it sits nicely on my finger, not tight at all. My wedding band/engagement ring and an amythest ring I have twirl around on my fingers non stop. Sadly, I still can't wear the half of the ring that I share with my sister Jodi. She has the amythest half, and I have the diamond half that links over the amythest.

I also packed away my summer clothes today (boy was it cold cold cold this morning) and as I packed them up, I said a little prayer than when I get them out next spring, they are just way too big. With His help I know I can do this.

The LORD is nigh unto all them that call upon him, to all that call upon
him in truth. He will fulfill the desire of them that fear him: he also will
hear their cry, and will save them. --Psalm 145:18-19

My First Weigh In...

True to form, I got really nervous before I went to the meeting. I hate new situations. For some reason, I have thrown myself into more new situations lately than normal for me. Anyway. once I got there, I met the leader right away, and we introduced ourselves. I filled out a registration form and paid for a monthly pass. I figured that way I was committed for a month, because I am not one to throw that much money away.

Then it was time to weigh in. The number was not as high as I had feared it would be, but it is still high, and I hate to type it here, but I'm going to.

269.6. And I've been doing the points thing for a week. And I counted calories for a week before that, staying below 1200, so it was probably higher. But that is my starting weight. They asked us to set a goal to have lost by Thanksgiving, but I think I am going to wait a week, see how much I lose and then set the goal. I don't want to commit to more pounds than I can realistically lose and then be dissapointed in myself. The leader was impressed with the changes I have made in the last week though, the exercise choices as well as eating choices. We really clicked and I think she will be a real support with this.

Now I know that Weight Watchers is a plan that teaches you how to eat for the rest of your life, it is a lifestyle change, not a diet. So maybe I should be encouraged that there were more women in there that I would think of as skinny or normal than overweight. I was once again the heaviest woman in the room.

That's not going to be true for much longer though. I promise.

Well, it finally happened. The one thing that I have avoided with a passion my entire married life. I got a scale.

I have never wanted a scale in the house. Not because I was avoiding the issue of my weight, I mean, there is no way that I didn't know I was heavy. I just didn't want to be one of those people who was on the scale fifty times a day, obsessing about every tenth of a pound. And the fact is, I still wouldn't have one except my MIL brought one over. So now it is in the bathroom. I have weighed myself. I'm not happy with the number, but it is less than I thought it was going to be, so that's good. I'll wait to post offical numbers here until after I go to the weight watchers meeting on Tuesday.

I feel sorry for MIL, though. She bought herself a new scale, and gave me the old one. The new one is calibrated a pound and a half higher than the old one.

We had breakfast at church, and I looked up how many points for a biscuit and gravy before we left. I had one biscuit and a 1/4 cup of gravy (didn't even eat all of the gravy), and then I left the room. I wasn't hungry after I ate it, but I was really hungry by the time I got home at noon, so I had a yogurt and cereal for lunch. So my total through lunch was 16 points. Not good, but I guess I could use weekly points for the biscuit and gravy. They are there to use, and the whole point is to learn how to eat for life, including "special" occaisions like breakfast at church. Still, I think the next time I have to eat there to be sociable, I might take along something healthier.

This journey started when I had to buy new bras. I can not find affordable bras in my cup and chest size. This is a problem. They also do not make cute bras in that combination. That little trip to the store got me thinking big time about making some changes in my life.

It's been obvious for a long time that I desperately needed to loose weight. Having three kids and being a homebody, food was the only real excitement in my life for a long time. I resented the fact that I was going to have to quit eating the way I want(ed?) to. Diets meant low fat, reduced calorie everything. Yech. I am finally beginning to see that really, what it means is portion control. I am not going to be able to have everything I want exactly when I want it, and I am going to have to plan more. It doesn't mean no donuts, or no ice cream. It does mean, not th. ree donuts, or melty cheese on everything. But it's doable. I can change. I just had to want to change.

My biggest fear about this whole thing is that I love to cook, love to bake bread, and I love to feed people. AmI going to be able to do these things, especially with Thanksgiving and Christmas fast approaching, or am I going to have to give them up. I haven't figured that out yet. I know I am going to have to learn to cook in different ways, and with different ingredients, but am I going to like what I can make?

So here we go. It's going to be a long trip, and like the saying goes, it all starts with the first step. So I will be going to the Weight Watchers meeting on Tuesday, although I have already starting counting points with the help of my MIL. I'm praying for a smooth, path, with few pitfalls and rocks in the way.

I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me.
--Phillipians 4:13